20-Somethings Blog

I have only lived 21 years [with some left-overs] but I will say I have learned a lot in this short amount of time, specifically these last 8 months. I want to preface this entry by saying that I honestly would not go back in my past to change what I have been through.

As cliché as it is, all my mistakes have made me who I am. I am much more confident, I possess more faith and trust in my Creator, and am now closer to a few people BECAUSE of my mistakes. I wouldn’t be who or where I am now by doing things the right way. I am NOT saying that you should throw your common sense out the window to learn some things by any means, but that when a mistake is made, take hold of it, learn from it and then, when you are ready, share your experiences.

I think one of the biggest ideas I would have told myself back in the day would be “go with your gut, hold fast to what you know is right.” And when I say “what is right,” I don’t just mean morally right, but what is fact, whether that concerns how you will react to a certain situation, your understanding of another person’s personality or basic/common sense issues. If you know you struggle with smoking, don’t go to places where you may have easy access to it. If you know a person who often times takes advantage of the generosity of others, be cautious. If you tend to spend money frivolously, only carry a small amount of cash and no credit cards.

Setting yourself up for failure [morally or not], disappointment or pain is probably one of the most detrimental things you could do to yourself. And it’s just plain stupid.

In the summer of 2011 I ended up falling in love with my best friend of three years. Some of you [and I really mean the female readers] might squeal with giddiness, as your imagination begins thinking of that one song or film…you know exactly what I am talking about. The one that talks of how boy meets girl, they become fast friends, start dating, break up, the girl starts seeing another guy reluctantly [of course, still in love with the first] but in the end her true love comes sweeping in to win her back and they get married, have a few adorable kids running around their ankles and live happily ever after.

If only life actually worked like that.

It is true, I was in love with my best friend. We knew everything about each other: our past mistakes, how to calm each other down, we challenged each other to be better, so on and so on. From the outside, it could have been seen as “your ideal relationship” I guess. But I refused to see the red flags that I knew of from the beginning, even before I fell for him. I knew from the get-go he was an opportunist when it came to girls. I even told him so! My gut told me not to get involved but that hopeful, romantic side got the better of me. Long story short, I should’ve gone with the little voice in the back of my head. I am now out a best friend, still picking up the pieces and we don’t speak anymore.

What would be different if I had listened to what I knew was right? I try not to dwell on the past but rather how I can take that past and apply it to the present and the possible futures.

So I guess that’s that. I wish I had listened to my gut. I hope that the next time your gut, the little voice in your head, is telling you turn the other way, that you will do just that. There is a reason that we have that hesitation even if we don’t’ know exactly why…listen to it!

~Rikki