Above all else, guard your heart
I love this post because I can definitely relate. Coming from someone who has never been in a relationship/ hit the almost relationship, it can be hard to understand what a real relationship should look like. But this post also gives some great advice to those wondering if there in a healthy relationship. Proverbs 4:23 is an amazing verse to reference and to always look back at. Thank you so much Kelsee for sharing your heart.
Everybody wants to be loved
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23
We all want to find that one person that will love us for the rest of our lives. We watch movies and read books with the perfect love stories that we want so desperately to be our own. We fill our heads with thoughts that that will never be us…we will never be the ones standing at the end of the story ‘living happily ever after.’My name is Kelsee, I am 22 years old, single, and have never really been in a relationship. I put emphasis on that because there is always that sort of kind of relationship that never ends up anywhere. So, I guess I should say I’ve never had a boyfriend. You know the awkward stage when a guy and a girl are interested in each other, and they text, and hang out all the time…well that’s what I had…for 3 years. This was while I was in college. He was the first guy that really seemed interested in me, and I wanted to do what I could to keep him. However, all along I knew it was an un-healthy relationship. He only ever wanted to hang out with me when it was convenient for him, but as soon as I would ask him he was suddenly too busy. I don’t want you to think that for 3 years, I was just at his beck and call. There were months of time that I wouldn’t really talk to him, and I would try to get over him, but somehow I would always end up running back to him.
When you are in a relationship with someone, one of the most important things is communication and being able to tell your boyfriend anything. I realized I couldn’t do this with him because we weren’t actually a couple. I was fighting with myself about what he had the right to know and what I needed to keep to myself in order to guard my heart. One day I opened up and told him something that I was personally struggling with. He comforted me and gave me advice. Both very good and what I needed, but then he proceeded to tell me that I should open up to him like that more often. This is when I realized that things between us needed to change. There was no reason that he had the right to know everything I was going through. I knew by this point that being in an actual relationship was out of the question so I had to let him go. I realized that I was trying to hold on to something that was never going to be more than it was at that moment.
This was 2 years ago now, and I have forgiven him, and we even still talk every once in awhile. I am also thankful that I was able to learn a lesson from this situation. I now know that the next person I give myself to will have to prove to me that he is worth it before I put too much emotion into something that isn’t going to go anywhere.
I write this to you in hopes that if you are currently in a relationship of some kind that you take a moment and think about whether or not he is being vulnerable to you in return or if he is just expecting you to always open up to him. If you are single I hope that this is a reminder of the type of man that you are looking for. I will always remember the good times that I had with him because they are the only memories of a relationship that I have had. But I am also excited for the future when I meet someone who treats me the way I should be treated.
If you were blessed by this story, let us know