The Battle:Relationships are hard work
I love this post so much because it speaks true to the heart. It speaks on the topic of the journey of a relationship. It is truly a growing process and not the easiest one at best. I'll let her words speak for themselves. So thankful Brittnee for this post!
Dating. For 20-somethings around the world, this topic can always start interesting, and sometimes emotional, discussion. We are all either married and having the time of our lives with that special someone, married but wish we waited a few more years, dating with no immediate intention of getting married, dating and wish we were married, dating for 5+ years but don’t feel ready for marriage because we’re “too young” , single and so ready to mingle, single and very happy that way, or in that unexplainable in-between stage where you and another are into each other but you’re not technically in a relationship for one reason or another. You all know exactly what I’m talking about.
In my 22 years of life, I’ve spent most of my time single and looking/waiting for that perfect person to come into my life and sweep me off my feet. I had a picture in my head of what type of person I wanted. Not too long ago I met someone. He was very interested in me and did all of the pursuing. Initially, I wasn’t very interested; he didn’t fit that picture that I had in my head. The more I got to know him however, his charming personality won me over, and I realized that even though on the surface he was a lot different than what I would have pictured myself with, inside he had many of the qualities that I would want in a future spouse.
To make a long story short, we started dating and got really serious, really quickly. The unfortunate part is that after about four months went by, we broke up. We’re still friends but there is a lot of figuring out that we both need to do as individuals in order to work as a couple. We both really want to be a couple, but two individuals can’t work together if they can’t even function alone.
What I want to tell you, what I feel like is the ‘right’ answer, is that all you have to do in order to find true happiness and love with someone is to be patient, find personal peace and happiness, and make sure that you yourself are ready for a relationship. I mean that is what my ex-boyfriend and I are trying to do now; find individual contentment. But there’s a catch, it is so much easier to say that than it is to actually do it. I feel that I have spent a good part of the last couple of years in a happy place and ready and willing to be in a relationship, but being patient gets so annoying after awhile. I get tired of waiting, then I start moping around like ‘woe is me’ why aren’t I in that perfect relationship yet? Then I’m not happy anymore, and it starts this never ending revolving door of emotions.
Here’s my honest opinion. No matter what your relationship status is, it’s all hard work. Many people have the misconception that they’ll find happiness once they find ‘the one’. That’s not true. Whether you’re single, dating, married or somewhere in between, it’s all hard work. Any relationship is hard work, even with your close friends you sometimes go through tough times. It’s life. True happiness is only found in having an intimate relationship with God; The One who loves like no human ever can. A relationship with God is hard work too. Basically what I am saying, is that yes, you do need to find personal peace and happiness but you have to do that through God, and it’s all work. A battle.
Brittnee